Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I am moving forward with my life. The past 8 months I have learned a lot about people and a ton about myself. I have overcome so much over the past 5 years. I will never let anyone knock me down like that again. I love my life and I know this happened for a reason.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I am hurt. Post cancer, I have learned to never give up, an attribute to being a cancer survivor. I can't just let go and not make another attempt at something. I have aimed to fix something that I had to work on, but the other half let go, and now I'm floating away.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I have to learn how to build a wall, that protects myself and other people from me being disappointed. I am fed up with people in my life, only considering and caring for themselves. it is disgusting how people are when it involves something they dont see or care to try to see. My interests and feelings are second to every single situation and point of view. I am not asking for my opinion and feelings to be rules or facts, but just to be heard and adjusted to. Noone cares. I have learned every one in this world, is strictly out for themselves. I am selfish in ways, but not when it comes to someone i love and care about. They actions and feelings are just as important as my own. I have grown up in that regard and continue to learn how more mature and advanced in certain views that i am now than i ever was before. My health is good, (knock on wood) and I have no more reasons to use that as an excuse. Health in any form, good or bad should not be an excuse. For some people its their alibi. sad
Friday, January 16, 2009
So I am seriously considering shaving my mop. I tried in all my efforts to keep my shaver away from my slowly progressing, growing reddish brown locks of hair. Coming from a person who has over 13 years, shaved his head every day,its very hard to see hair. The hair in my opinion is ugly. Haha. Maria, wants me to keep on keepin on, as Seton and Mike want me to, but I don't know much longer I could deal with it. I was thinking on the latter end of the spectrum. Having a shaved head supports other people with bald heads, showing it isn't so bad. Besides John Oouble, I have never heard of a guy growing their hair that long to donate. Ahhhhhhh. I look like I'm 55 years old and about to retire. I have the Al Cohen bowl, about to form on my head. For those who don't know Al Cohen, he was my grandfather (dad's dad). He went almost bald at 21. His hair covered his back and the sides of his head but not the middle. Mine is thinning in the middle and the part in front is looking like a tiny island! Shiza. Let's think about this.......
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
So its been a while since I wrote on here. Nate has finished editing my body part of the book. I am liking the way its coming along. I'm getting ideas slowly how to conclude the book. I'm starting to question the progress of my hair growing experiment. I at first thought I could handle it. I don't know anymore. I would love for it to just grow a full head of hair, but 12 inches?! Ha I don't know. I want to take the clippers to it but Maria won't let me... Yet
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sitting in the doctor's office for hopefully a routine diagnosis of a bad cold, or respiratory infection. I remember close to this time 5 years ago, I was sick, with similar symptoms but my body was tired. I have energy, idk if its forced energy but I'm definitely not used to simple things being simple. I have learned through daily life, that patience is a key part of surviving. Surviving a disease, surviving a bad break, surviving a relationship. Its been a word that's consistently been constantly in my life. Do I wish things were simple? Yes I do. The stress that comes from this area and things related with this area, are definitely not wanted. However, they do certainly make things sweeter when they do eventually go my way. I enjoy my life. I did learn that nothing consistent is certain...
Monday, January 5, 2009
No particular reason, just thinking. I am considering ways I would like to end my book. As well as the design itself for my book. This book sculpted my life and now I am putting in the effort to make this book help other people sculpt theirs. I have been through a lot these past few years and I truly want to create a future and a life, that is influential as much to myself as I am to others. I dont think I would change a single thing, on the path my life has taken. That is including every single drop of adversity I could think of. Without those experiences and scars and painful thoughts, I would not be here and the person you see today.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A couple days after one of the best New Years' I have ever had. Spending it with Steve, Jenny, Edgar, Jen and my girlfriend Maria, I look back on last year at this time. I was in LA, with Seton and a bunch of my friends. It was a fun New Years. I left and came home to many uncertainties. This year, I come home to many possibilities and certainties. I have Maria, a very positive, learning part of my life. Each day we're together is new and absolutely inspiring. I have the book, that I will complete in the next couple of months, that I hope will lead me to a different direction in my career. I am flooded with a deep feeling of excitement about her and my career. As a song I always listen to right before New Years, "Jet Black New Year"- Thursday, "this year will be better than the last".